A rather verbose email written by Pakistani captain Inzamam-ul-Haq to his mother was today leaked to the press by sources from the only cyber cafe in Peshawar. A copy of the email is available with this reporter. The email talks at length about the ghastly appeal by the machiavellian Indian cricket team whilst Inzamam was busy displaying his copybook front foot defence to a 'delivery' bowled by Suresh Raina from practically the other end of the ground. The following are excerpts from the email.
"Greetings Mother,
Your son Inzamam. Other day I and 10 others are playing a game of cricket with 11 others from India. Therefore 1 + 10 we are 11. We are being very honest sporting peoples. But the Indians are corrupt and unsporting people. Yesterday, Mother they are appealing even when I am teaching them how two play forward defence stroke. Mother, you know I am very bright child since childhood but I am not understanding the rules of cricket. When I am playing England I am out for not obstructing the field and now when I am obstructing the field I am out again. I am always out Mother. Mother, look at my size. It is equal to half the pitch. Mother, why are they not making big grounds so that I am not obstructing the field by my mere presence. I will explain in detail what happens that day. First Sreesanth is bowling and I am hit the ball to mid off where Suresh Raina is fielding the ball. I am moving out of my crease for a single. Then Suresh Raina is thinking that he can get me run out and he is throwing ball straight at me. Mother, If I eat two parathas less then I am thin and I can turn back and get inside the crease. But Mother, you are knowing that is not possible. So I am playing perfect front foot defence so that Indian team can admire technique. But Mother to my horror they are appealing and umpire Taufel bhai is raising his finger. Now Mother, you know how many time I am already run out. I cannot run out more so I am displaying my wonderful technique and Indians are appealing!!!! Mother what justice is this ? What we did to deserve this ? Mother when we are playing test match in Kolkata, Shoaib is by mistake kicking Sachin's bat in the air and by mistake the ball is hitting the stumps. Wasim Bhai is running fast and appealing. And In return we are getting this from the Indians. Actually Wasim Bhai is appealing for Sachin's benefit because Sachin is scared of Shoaib and therefore if he is out it is good for him. Again I ask Mother What did we do to deserve this ? But I think Indians are learning to be sportsmen. Today Shoaib Malik is displaying football skills but Indians are not appealing. I think the Indians are also improving. When the Indians improve I will start talking to them. Till then Mother I will be Katti with them. "
Initially this reporter had doubted the authenticity of this email but after reading it his opinion changed. You would have guessed why.
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