Tongue-tied n Twisted

No, not betting school but batting school. Ever wondered why different batsmen approach the game somewhat differently ? It's simply because there' a difference in the schooling of these batsmen. Bored brings you a list of the top Batting Schools around the world. The M.K. Gandhi School of Batting - These batsmen do not bat. They offer Satyagraha - a form of nonviolent resistance. Batsmen graduating from this school believe their bat is a destructive weapon and therefore use it as little as possible. That is not to say they don’t spend many hours at the crease. On the contrary, a batting Satyagrahi spends, on an average, 3.24 more hours at the crease than any other batsman in the team. The career of these batsmen is not measured in terms of runs scored but in terms of number of balls left outside the off stump. When a fast bowler (to the satyagrahi, the oppressor) runs in hard every over only to see his deliveries left alone it causes him severe exhaustion and frustration. Th...

Ricky Ponting, the spirited Australian captain (seen alongside, telling the umpire that both the batsmen are out), today urged the ICC's technical committee to consider the inclusion of the one tup catch in the official rules of cricket. Speaking to newspersons at a hastily called press conference, Ponting enthralled everyone with his latest views on the game and what the ICC needs to be do to ensure that Australia's winning streak continues. "Its a wonderful thing mate. I saw it being put to good use by kids in one of the bylanes of a small city in India.", said Ponting. "The rules are loaded in favour of the batsman, mate. It would be great if we gave the fielding side some liberties", added Ponting as he waxed eloquent on this topic completely defiant of the fact that maybe the Australians had already used this to their advantage. Investment banking expert, Nitesh "hookka" Naidu was quicker than ever to grab this opportunity to enlighten...

Celebrations broke out in different parts of the country as Team India took an an unassailable lead in the 3 match ODI series against Bangladesh in Dhaka. Thousands of Team India supporters partied late into the night to celebrate their teams success on foreign soil shouting slogans to cheer them on towards an unprecedented series white-wash. Speaking to newspersons, Indian skipper Rahuld Dravid thanked his boys for this wonderful moment, while insisting that the minnows tag was no longer applicable to Team India. "These have been two close matches, but to their credit, the boys kept their nerve and at the end of the day that was the difference between the two teams", said the Indian skipper, allowed to speak to the media after having received due permission from the BCCI on submitting an application with attested xerox copies of ration card, school leaving certificate, electricity bill and 2 passport size photographs. Chairman of selectors, Dilip Vengsarkar, was obviou...

Coming on the back of a bowling performance that wouldnt impress the Selection Committee of even the Zaire Cricket Association, Punjab-Da-Puttar, Raj Malhotra (seen alongside, facing his bowling coach - The Bowling Machine) redeemed himself with a superlative all-round performance that saw him pick up 5 wickets ( much to the astonishment of the spectators that at any given time included such students of the game as a groundsman, a couple of College peons, a watchman and a few stray dogs) and play a match winning innings of 42, complete with scorching cover drives and ferocious pulls. Raj's superb all round performance saw Foobar A defeat Foobar B by a comprehensive margin of 8 wickets in a highly inconsequential match of great interest to the jobless, played at the Government Polytechnic Grounds. Batting first Foobar B, started off very well with Ram and Shyam stepping on the gas early on. The opening partnership saw Foobar to the other side of 50 before Raj got his first victim o...

Inspite of the absence of the dangerous pair of SamD and AbhijitG , Foobar Software continued its impressive run under the able leadership of former Kings College mainstay Raj Malhotra (seen alongside, in his Kings College days) here at the Ghorpuri Grounds in Pune. Foobar beat Indiglo software by 34 runs, a comprehensive victory which would have been even more comprehensive but for an eventful over from the skipper himself. The match itself looked in jeopardy before Messrs Ram and Lakhan with Army personnel in tow salvaged the situation and the match began as scheduled one hour after the teams arrived. After careful analysis of the ground available to both teams, a fairly level patch was designated as the pitch for this historic clash and following an initial struggle to get the stumps into the ground, the toss was held in the centre of the patch which now many had begun to acknowledge as the pitch. As is his wont, Raj won the toss and elected to bat first, much to the anguish of y...

In an unprecedented move, Australian Captain Ricky Ponting announced Australia's unnecessary withdrawal from the Unitech Cup - A triangular series involving India , Sri Lanka and South Africa to be played this fortnight in Sri Lanka. Speaking to jobless newspersons, The Australian Captain expressed concern over the security arrangements in Sri Lanka where a bomb went off a couple of Kilometers from the hotel where the Indian team is put up. "There is a lot of tension in the air, mate", said the captain of the World Champions. "In such a scenario player security is topmost on our minds", he added. However, Banking expert turned part time Sports Journalist, Nitesh Naidu was lightning quick in spotting the futility of withdrawing from a tournament in which you are not taking part. When quizzed on this, Ponting said," So what mate ? If ever player safety comes under question, It is not only our right but our duty to withdraw from that tournament. " Last he...