Tongue-tied n Twisted

After my last post and as I pen this one, I fully acknowledge my good fortune for not being behind bars! I havent received any warning from the cops over the telephone nor have they, so far, been so kind to visit my home. In the aftermath of my last post, as my respect for the cops was reaching newer and greater heights I had the fortune of getting into a 'peaceful' discussion with a lady cop. In this 'adventure' of mine, I was so fortunate as to be able to avail of the valuable vocal services of two of my friends, Short & Bald Friend (SBF) and Tall Madrasi (TM) It happened when TM, SBF and yours truly were going to SBF's house to indulge in nothing constructive, as is our wont. There lives a lady cop, a self proclaimed Heavenly Body, in SBF's building who happened to be coming down the stairs while we, lesser mortals, were going up the stairs. Inevitably we met midway. TM being tall had to bend while going up the stairs. This ( as we were to learn later), s...

A pall of gloom descended over 'Khufiya Adda', the secret Headquarters of The Mumbai Mafia (TMM) , minutes after the Mumbai Police announced its latest crime related figures. The Maharashtra Police, after years of dilligent practice and sheer hardwork, finally managed to pip the Mumbai Underworld in the race to commit more crimes. Speaking at a press conference from 'Khufiya Adda', which is barely a kilometre from the Mumbai Police Headquarters, TMM spokesperson Chetan Chikna expressed deep anguish over the result. He alleged that the Mumbai Police had fudged figures and emerged first. He appealed to the government to set up an Independent commission to conduct this survey in order to restore TMMs hitherto untarnished image as the undisputed India No 1 in crime. "Saala apun ne woh dedh-dimaag Vilas ko bolela hai inquiry chalu karneko, nahito uske bangle mainch jaakar usko kharcha-paani denga", said he (for translation of preceding text, go here ). However exp...

As the World S/W war continues, the defending Microsoft forces, living in denial, have reportedly sufferred heavy casualties. Microsoft forces deployed in the North Eastern sector came under heavy shelling and Light Machine Gun fire from the TUXan army, which is proving more and more irepressible with each passing day in this war that threatens to change desktops across the world. Small platoons of the TUXan army have been highly successful in ambushing patrolling platoons of the Microsoft Army. Part of the success of the invading forces, in this theatre of war, is due to the efficient co-ordination between the TUXan army and The GNU army led by Lt. Gen Linus Torvalds and Lt. Gen. Richard .M. Stallman respectively. The air battles in this sector were lost by the Microsoft Airforce purely because of their abililty to 'crash' without the enemy planes having to even take off. This wonderful ability of crashing has caused the Microsoft Airforce R&D wing to speed up its program...